Poetry Corner – “Four [In the Deep]”

Once upon a time, a young woman and a young man met beneath a sky of moving stars–

Pfft…I don’t want to begin that way. I’d rather be simple and direct.

On February 14, 2012,  I awoke at 4 a.m. not able to sleep. It was Valentine’s Day; I had the itch to write something for my beloved (at the time). It was only the second time I had showed him something I had written, and I was scared that it was too saccharine, too long, too whatever. I worked all day and tried to put it out of my mind. When I had built up the nerve to check my messages, I learned that my fear was unfounded. I was a better writer than I thought.

It’s a little hard to post this. The memories are bittersweet and it makes me feel a little vulnerable. But that’s what time is for, right? To make us wiser and impervious. However, after I sent this to him, he shared it with his friends. So why shouldn’t I?

By the way, the singer referenced in this poem is…well, never mind. I think you’re smart enough to figure it out. 🙂

_____

“Four [In the Deep]”

To Jeffrey
What happens when I am alone and can’t sleep? Drivel, apparently.

A soulful voice echoes in out of the dark–
a conflagration of the chest she declares–
and you and I are enthralled. (Mostly me.)
The journey begins on that rolling note;
It first hiccups over marriages of dichotomy–
You, reveling in the bold; me, cautious
while begging for space and time to grow–
Until we find ourselves face-to-face.
You hold the map, I blithely follow
As you show me the way through my own–
My personal Magellan. (Sort of has a ring, yes?)
The world takes on new dimension
As my knowledge expands with you at the helm.

The soundtrack gently ebbs–your tunes
in the background–as something forms
From our mutual attraction. What to call it?
Too precious to be a lark and damned
If I am the one to utter that swishy roll
of twelve letters. The kiss of death! Ah, maybe.
Suddenly, we are entrenched in one another–
Your fingertips grace my loathed skin
While I watch in wonder; fascinated you are–
To me my dermis is no work of art, riddled
With flaws a younger self inflicted heedlessly.
Yet, still you stroke and show me a Life Aquatic–
Smitten am I, as I don’t worry over my hair.

In my blood you have assimilated with the normal–
Life falters within parameters that don’t include you.
We go in circles, lost then found, here then gone.
I claim befuddlement, but in my musing
Thucydides whacks me in the back of the head–
Yes, with the obvious!–as he would say in our vernacular, “Duh!”
Hindsight is a great teacher, but you defy
Ghosts that whisper of things past;
I am armed with expectation–you, however
Brandish a battle axe for these occasions.
Afterwards I feel like a downed pole,
Dizzy from the jarring collision with Planet Earth
But steadied, ready for anything in your embrace.

Despite the danger, I cannot quit you. She belts
And my heart quivers, my own hands itch
To touch and leave you in wonder–yes, my turn.
The delightful expanse of you holds
The same allure as an unplucked chord–
Wouldn’t you too like to make it thrum?
If I had my way, you would hear me croon
A siren’s song and too be stirred beyond logic.
If I had my way, I could press an ear to you
And hear myself humming under your skin.
I am wary of puppet strings, but to leave
A mark?–yes, a heady thrill indeed.

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Sunday Snippet – “Unknown”

I was bored one night after Thanksgiving 2010; my best friend Rachel said that I should just sit down and write what came to mind. A few days before the holiday I’d had this odd dream that would not pass like dreams usually do. I sat down in front of my desktop, “Throw It On Me” blasting in my head, and wrote this scene from the dream I could not forget.

Before The Payback List came to mind, I had intended to do something different. When I think about the concept, it sort of reminds me of  the RSA but not as sleek. You also get to meet a early version of Adam Martin.

It is titled “Unknown” because I never gave it a proper name. This one will not reach completion, but the scene itself represents one of the best things I’ve written–at least in my opinion. 🙂

_____

Near the end 

The bitter cold made all of the wounds numb, and the fresh, pure snow mingled with the blood running down her face. Her long, heavy breaths came out like puffs of steam from a train and she ignored the fact that it hurt to merely breathe. Instead of dwelling on the various injuries she now sported and the throbbing each one induced, her consciousness was centered on the man standing before her, on the fact that her hand itched for her weapon, which was buried in the snow.

Oh yeah…and then there was the gun that was aimed at her head. That was a very bitter pill to swallow, too.

Actually, the gun hadn’t done a damn thing to her so she couldn’t be too angry with it; it was the tall, dark-haired asshole with his finger on its trigger that made her a bit irked. Hey—guns don’t kill people, fuckhead—people with guns kill people!

I should have known better than to put my trust in anyone, she mused angrily. But there was no use in trying to wallow in hindsight now. She didn’t have much time left—she could feel it—and there was little point in kicking herself, especially since everything she had done, every choice she had made since the moment they had met led to this moment. She was as much an agent in her own downfall as he was. Maybe there was a nice circle of Hell for a woman like her. It would certainly be warmer than this shit.

“Any last words?” he asked, voice slightly husky. It made her think of more peaceful times, of warmer times. She banished that right of her head. It would only make her want to kick his ass more than she already did. If such was possible.

She fought the urge to tremble against the cold and clung to the last vestiges of insolence she possessed. “You’re mistaken if you think I’m going to beg.”

A side of his mouth twitched. A sliver of mirth. “Just like you to be a smart ass to the end. I knew you wouldn’t beg, darlin’. You never did in bed.”

She nearly snorted with derision at the private reference. “Classy of you to bring that up right now when you’ve got a fucking gun pointed at my head.”

“If you had been smarter you would have seen this coming.”

It was her turn to smile, a little. “Oh…my dear…you have no idea…”

She could tell that threw him off-balance, just a bit. The guy who could see through everyone, see through everything, had been thrown by that comment. Uh huh—what was that, fool? It gave her a grim pleasure. All she had in this dismal predicament in which she had gotten herself.

“There is no way in hell,” he said aloud as if he was starting to realize something. The truth perhaps. “No way in fucking hell.”

“You’re a tool, I’m a tool, we’re all tools,” she told him. “It makes for some very convenient disposal when we turn on each other, according to some.”

“Who do you mean?” She silently stared at him. He flicked the firearm at her menacingly and raised his voice. “Dammit, Nee, who? Tell me…”

Her dark gaze remained even. “Why don’t you shoot me and find out?”

He struggled several moments with this as snow fell lightly around them. The numbness became its own pain, and heat and adrenaline fled her half-prone form. She could see the moment when he decided to pull the trigger before it happened.

A part of her, the romantic and nonsensical part of her, imagined at that last instant his face, light eyes intensified by desire, looming over her. A memory.

Close your eyes. Hold on tight, darlin’.

She welcomed the black when it came.