Poetry Corner & The Payback List – “Man Candy”

“Man Candy”
(for Della, Margo, Emily, Michelle, and Monique)*

Don’t tug on heart strings
You make my —– sing

You wanna unwrap his sugarcane
See what’s under the cellophane
On display in the sweet shop
You want a taste of his lollipop
And all before prudence says stop
The sweet’s driven you insane

Ain’t no silly love song
So get your purple thong
And sing along

He’s nice and handy
When you need
Some man candy
He’s wicked randy
When you need
Some man candy

He comes in a variety of flavors
With so many textures to savor
You can find one to suit your need
To fit what the craving might be
They promise satisfaction guaranteed
With your desired party favor

Ain’t no silly dedication
So get your purple thong
And sing along

He’s nice and handy
When you need
Some man candy
He’s wicked randy
When you need
Some man candy

Don’t tug on heart strings
You make my —– sing

Sometimes it’s necessary
But the pleasure’s temporary
You can want it later
But it never lasts
You want missionary?
He gives it in the —

Sometimes it’s necessary
But the pleasure’s temporary
You can wish for longevity
But it never comes
Once he’s at his end
The fun is all done

*From Part I of the Payback List:

“As for his looks, I have to say, Adam is fairly good-looking. Sigh. All right fine—if you can overlook his personality, he is one fine piece of man candy. (Wait…but then again, he is merely man candy because of his personality…aw hell, I’ll let Margo and Michelle tell you properly. They coined the phrase and predictably will have a portion of this tale to tell.) He possesses that tall, toned stature of an athlete with dark hair threaded with random strands of gray. Apparently it runs in the family and he will be completely silver haired by thirty-five. Emily gushes that her favorite feature are his eyes, which are a lovely (ech) cornflower blue.

“I had a cat with gray eyes once. Beautiful kitty Oscar was—but you didn’t see me turning a blind eye when Ozzy pissed on my favorite boots now did you? Just saying.”

-Della Henderson

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