Poetry Corner – “Nine”

My baby brother is autistic.

It’s not something I readily admit to people.  He’s a wonderful little boy despite it–aren’t they all, and the little girls, too–and I try not to let that color my perception of him. I remember the day, the moment he came into his world. This month, four days before my mama’s birthday, he turns nine. My world would not be the same without him, and for that, even with its hardships I am thankful.

I want to watch him grow and be taller than me.

“Nine”

For the Midget

The air displaced–it knew, right before the vibration–
The little one is coming, and you should come, too–
And bear witness to Life entering the room,
As deja vu comes over you; yes, we sisters three
Traveled the same path to light and sound
Where shrouded in Mother we could not partake;
And now he enters, an early gift, this child of ours.

And that poor little face, marred by skin sucked dry
Still handsome in our eyes, our precious boy;
Cognizant were we to the milestones of being,
Tiny fingers grasping tight, edentulous smiles
Accompanied by sweet giggles, cooing like music;
From roving hands to sturdy legs we watched him move
Mirth sparkling from his dark eyes
But his words, incomprehensible.

Wait–we said, hope in our hearts
Until the consensus was made: Something is not right;
Objects of play lined up with startling efficiency
And garbled language incited alarm–
Fear took over, and I would be remiss if I denied it;
Knowing presents a remarkable weapon
And to deny this special child–a heinous crime.

But his heart, that little thumping organ
Bigger seemingly in figurative terms;
Taking up the spoon, making sure the smaller one ate
Ruthlessly, forgetting himself and his own appetite
Until presented with a notebook, a blank canvas;
He colored till his fingers stained
Only to pause to ask us, How was your day?

Out in the world is he now, with others his own size,
Lining up to have a work of art fashioned in his hand
With depth and splashes of color that belie his age;
He meets me at the door with tiny arms outstretched
And reads a short tale from a hand-made book;
How far he’s come, I muse, our little man
And further he’ll go, us propelling his burgeoning wings.

Poetry Corner – “Lonely Girl”

“Lonely Girl”

Materialize they do, the stars
On your ceiling tonight
Live vicariously, no harm
Through them to shine so bright
Whatever the whiteness becomes
Taking form as your heart thrums

This is how lonely girls take their fun

Out the window paradise looms
Hues more vivid than ever met the eye
Imagination is a cherished boon!
Never in reality would this have been right
Ill-met in translation of this land

Making the others understand
Leads the outsiders to disband

And rueful this may seem
A solitary adventure of one
One girl’s hell is another’s dream
Depending on how the tale is spun
So when she weaves a tale for your mind
Take the time–realize!
What you perceive may be most entwined.

Poetry Corner – “Dictionary”

“Dictionary”

You scratch your head
As if you’ve never seen
The likes of me
I’m something
Worthy of study
In classrooms
Across the country

I’ve got a strange swagger
That men and toads
Have all
But when I speak
My diction seems
Like fiction
A tongue that you
Have never heard
Before

I transcend meaning
Beyond your understanding
Is where I reside
There are so many words
That have fallen
From your vocabulary
Your concept of me
Is out in space

I am incomparable
There is
No precedent for me
In imitation
No one has tried
To flatter me
And don’t try
You’ll come up short

I am undefined
And if you try
You cannot find
Me in your dictionary
You cannot pin
A name on me
I’m a moving target
With no visage
Unknown assailant
Here without warning
I am unrestricted
You cannot find
Me in your dictionary

Poetry Corner – “Story of My Life”

“Story of My Life”

I’ve got no fairy godmother to light my way
No glass slipper to fit upon my foot
To find me some prince charming
That is not as charming as he seems
I’ve got no gilded forest with chirping birds
No theme song filled with pretty imagery
That gets stuck in my head when I’m unhappy

I wake up and close the book
Can’t be the princess sleeping her life away
Once upon a time I bid adieu
Because the story of my life is through
The story that’s full of pretenses
Oh no, I can’t continue this story anymore

I’ve no need for a wicked witch to mess with me
I’m having too much trouble with reality
I can’t spend my time to wonder where
Have all those charming princes fled
I can’t waste time looking for a crowned head
Because through my life I have learned
Royal or common, men are bred the same

I wake up and close the book
Can’t be the princess sleeping her life away
Once upon a time I bid adieu
Because the story of my life is through
The story that’s full of pretenses
Oh no, I can’t continue this story anymore

I’m through with thinking that
The magic is worth something
I’m going to get my own ride
And not wait around for a magic pumpkin
To whisk me away to paradise
Where the story of my life begins

Oh no, I’ve no need for happily ever after
My life begins wherever I set my feet
You don’t need to fade out on me
Waving goodbye on a majestic steed
Because I’d rather have that open ending

Poetry Corner – “First Winter”

“First Winter”

Beautiful snowflakes from the sky
Covering everything in untainted white
The cold was so clean
The white was so infinite
Oh tell me, did you know that was my first time?

Huddled together, you and me
Trying to trap the escaping heat
The wind hastily swirling
As if telling us we had to depart
Oh tell me, do we have to leave our paradise?

We can’t make the Sun stand still
But we can make time run
We can make time run
And be together again

The sun peeks over the skyline
Letting the golden light into our lives
And I could see
The tears in your eyes
Oh tell me, did you know I couldn’t bear to say goodbye?

Watching you go from my window
I can’t quite shake the cold
Wishing I had your hand to hold
Oh tell me, did you know I wanted to be a snowflake?
(Swirling on the wind, able to be free)
Till I found you again

We can’t make the Sun stand still
But we can make time run
We can make time run
And be together again

Poetry Corner – “Are We in Love?”

 

“Are We in Love?”

Saturdays, summer days spent in seclusion
Wasting away our lives in this delusion
Saving face, amazing grace, where will this lead?
Tell me, but maybe, you don’t know the seed
Of this life-plaguing eventuality
Where do we go when faced with reality?

So now I’m forced to make the inquiry
Are we in love?
It seems our wedded bliss just a fantasy
Are we in love?

Untrue, who knew our love was unreal
The thing that grew was hunger’s zeal
Wasted time on lies, what do we do?
Thru my eyes I only find choices a few
I gotta save my life; death won’t suffice
Leaving you’s the only thing right

So now I’m forced to make the inquiry
Are we in love?
It seems our wedded bliss just a fantasy
Are we in love?

Floating, we are here on a vast sea
Until we cast out love to memory
So say goodbye to pretending to love me

Saturdays, summer days being on my own
Spending time, just getting by all alone
Saving face, amazing grace, where will I go?
To myself true everything I do till my life is done
Cast out love to memory
So say goodbye to pretending to love me

You were not in love

Poetry Corner – “You and Me”

“You and Me”

Let’s blow out the candles
Sweep away the flower petals
I’d rather take up arms
With our backs merged
Take on a firing squad
Knowing we’re a good duo

Don’t call me beautiful, darling
Save the sentiment for the margins
I’d rather battle with my mind
Even though you’ll win everytime
Superseding me in my view
But I am here to learn

Forget those shiny distracting things
Save them for a material spirit
I’d rather receive things without a tag
Indulge me in the mundane
Spoil me with the unknown
There exists space to grow

When all the clamor reaches its end
In the quiet of the night
Cityscape twinkling like stars behind
If it appeases to hold me close
I will not argue for Long
The most important thing of all

Midnight Moon – “The Marking”

“The Marking”

She was angry.

Anger persisted as a side effect of her ability to control fire; the emotion rolled through her like molten lava, threatening to spew through her pores at any given moment. The mind, Aurora would always say, controlled the body, therefore the mind should always be strong. (Of course, Angelia would not always agree, being more agile than mentally controlled.)

But the soul, Felice interjected softly, superseded them all.

Her soul toiled with restlessness and fury. Perhaps that was why, when she picked up the bo, even though her mind and body had transcended to a space of peaceful tranquility, her fingertips darkened the mahogany wood.

“You can refuse you know,” he told her, back straight, the grip on his own bo firm but casually dangerous.

A muscle twitched in her thigh–the only movement of her body. Her soul, on the other hand, smoldered with contempt.

“Like hell I will,” she shot back.

The weight of the looks from their allies thickened the air between them. The wind held its breath; the sun did not blink.

She sprang first, swinging the stick as rushed forward. He stopped her onslaught with a smooth lifting of his own bo. Every move of hers, he evaded. Every blow, he blocked. Goddammit! she cursed inwardly. She wanted to win. As the blood thudded through her body and mind, her soul coveted victory. Yes, Felice won the argument this time.

However, her mind produced an idea: burn him.

Their training focused not only their physical and mental development but also on their special abilities. They were gifted. Why else were they here?

Her eyes narrowed on a spot on her opponent’s hand. Wanting to best me, are you? Her eyes went tawny. Let’s see you forget me now.

The bo clamored to the ground as a cry met the spectators’ ears. They watched as he paused, looking at his hand, then looking at the dark-haired young woman before him in stupefaction.

Her soul was smug. No matter how many times he defeated her now, that scar would be there forever.

2013

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you out there for reading my blog. A writer needs support and feedback, no matter how thick-skinned they believe they are. So thank you all for liking and following me. Arigatou gozaimasu!

I deliberately did not post anything the last couple of days of 2012; I wanted to take some time and consider the year on my own without philosophizing about it (as I tend to do).  2012 was not a bad year, but like the ones before it, I am glad that existed and that it has passed. I spent the last night of the year on my own and was peacefully sleeping when the year changed. I do not regret that one bit. I have plenty of time to celebrate on my own terms, for whatever reason that arises. I hope you all were safe and are enjoying the first day of 2013.

Wonderful things are in store for us all.

D-chan